Today we gather to remember and to celebrate the life of
Alfred Milton Hartley, III .
We gather with his family. With his wife Bea. His children, Robin and John, Jill and Rob, and other family members like Judy to pray that even in the midst of this time of pain they may experience God’s grace and comfort.
I don’t know why Al Hartley, or anybody else, has to endure the pain and discomfort of disease. I understand at an abstract level, but it becomes very different when you look at it on a more personal level.
Billy Graham said, “I have been asked on hundreds of times in my life why God allows tragedy and suffering. I have to confess that I really do not know the answer totally, even to my own satisfaction. I have to accept, by faith, that God is sovereign, and He is a God of love and mercy and compassion in the midst of suffering.”
Indeed, Al expressed this grace at work in his life all through his illness only really showing the debilitating effects of this awful disease in recent weeks. Just a number of weeks ago, John’s parents stayed overnight with Bea and Al, and were amazed at how well Al was getting along.
Al loved his morning coffee, newspaper, and crossword puzzle while listen to Fox and Friends in the background. He was always sure to check the sports page for any information on the Phillies. As much as he enjoyed North Carolina and his new home and being able to sit out on his back deck, he would miss the coverage of his dear Phillies.
He loved to read — especially suspense and espionage. This carried over into his choice of TV shows. When he wasn’t watching Fox News or listening to talk radio, he was watching shows like 24.
Al loved the computer and the Internet. This fed into his love of trivia, information, maps — if a question came up he would search until he had an answer.
As a man who loved food, especially soup, he would find eating out to be a wonderful experience of exploration. Indeed, it he had his way he might spend the time moving from table to table sampling other diner’s choices and discussing the merits of each dish.
He was man who was more comfortable with ideas and information than he was with hammers and shovels. This inquisitive, inquiring nature, along with his discomfort of physically demanding activities led to him being known as the the “Check it Out Man.” If somebody said something was broken he would respond with, “Let’s check it out.” I can just see him now, poking and prodding at the broken item and then announcing, “Yep, it’s broken all right!”
His family imagined him having his own Can’t Fix-it TV show — Check It Out with Al Hartley .
But, it is precisely these kinds of quirks and peculiarities that help define us. They make us the person others love. They are the traits that make people light us when they are around. They are the things we miss when they are gone.
Al, the big Pelican, was also big Pop-Pop to his grandchildren. He loved his grandchildren: Abigail, Delaney, Tiernan, Ryan, Ethan.
He enjoyed playing with them. He played their card games. He played their board games. I don’t know how much he may have realized it, but he has certainly blessed them by his very presence and involvement in their lives at this level.
Physically he could be quite awkward and heavy stepping — a bull in a china shop if you will. But while he may not have been that physically graceful, he was graceful in spirit. And let’s face it: which is the greater blessing to others?
It is said that “The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” In a way, Al’s battle with cancer in his 40’s was a blessing, or at least a catalyst for one. I often say that God doesn’t cause tragedy, pain, or hardship in our lives, but He is able to take and redeem that things that often seem bent on evil. In this way Al was able to take a hard look at his life and his personal demons and work to expel the demons and turn his life around. Robin speaks about how much they have all been blessed by this man Al Hartley, and how much of that has been the Al Hartley who emerges at 44 years of age: an Al Hartley who was thoughtful, considerate, genuine, accepting and non-judgmental.
Oscar Wilde said “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Al Hartley definitely fell in the first category. He was personable and neighborly.
He was easy to talk to because he was a good listener.
He had a remarkable ability to remember a conversation and days, even weeks later, he would bring up items and concerns expressed from earlier conversations and ask about them.
As I listened to Bea, Robin, Jill, and Judy talk about this man I couldn’t help but feel diminished that I didn’t have a chance to know him as well.
In the Gospel of John there is a story about Jesus stopping at a well to rest while his disciples go into a village looking for food. They are in Samaria and the Jews and Samaritans weren’t known for getting along to well. As he rested there in the heat of the day a Samaritan woman comes to the well to draw water. The fact that she came when it was hot is significant. It means she was deliberately avoiding the well during the cooler parts of the day when other women would be present.
As she draws water out of the well, Jesus asks for a drink. This Samaritan woman is amazed that this Jewish man would speak to her. But Jesus continues to engage her in conversation. She is amazed at how well Jesus knew and understood her, warts and all, and yet seemed to be so genuinely loving and caring.
I believe these are the characteristics of our Lord, that Al sought to live out in his life. He sought to live a life that was genuinely loving and caring. He was indeed, Al Hartley, a man who was thoughtful, considerate, genuine, accepting and non-judgmental.
Now we entrust Al to Our Lord, to be received as a Disciple to his Master, a Lamb to his Shepherd.
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